Natasha Helfer

Dear President Daley,

I am officially accepting the invitation to attend in person the council being held in my behalf on April 18, 2021, at 7:30pm (CDT) at 1409 S Rock Road, Derby, Kansas. I appreciate your flexibility in moving the date that had originally been set for April 11, 2021.

I understand that this council is being held to discuss what you consider my “repeated, clear, and public opposition to the Church, its doctrine, its policies, and its leaders.” I plead “not guilty.”

As you know I did not receive your letter dated November 8, 2020 until February 13, 2021. That was the date that both my Facebook messenger and my Email account can confirm your attempt to contact me after you must have sent your letter to an old email account of mine no longer functioning. The letter I sent back to you expressing that I was willing to address any concerns locally, and my official request that my records be transferred to the Wilford Utah Stake, was sent to your email on February 27, 2021. I will attach that letter here for your council to review. You also know that a copy of your summons letter dated March 21, 2021 was hand delivered by a representative of the Wilford Stake on April 4, 2021, Easter Sunday, General Conference Weekend.

In the short text conversations where I have asked a few clarifying questions to you and Bishop Labrum of the Bel Aire Ward, I have found out that I will only be allotted one hour for this event. This includes any persons who are willing to speak to the council on my behalf. I did request that I be allowed an hour and a half: half an hour for witnesses and one hour for me. I understand that this request has been denied. I was also informed that none of these persons could use video conferencing means to be present at the meeting (i.e Zoom). I also want to know that there was no communication to me as to how many persons could speak on my behalf until yesterday, April 15, 2021.

You did inform me that I should send you a list of individuals willing to represent me and my reason for their participation. I submitted the following individuals and reasons:

April 12, 2021 Andy Parker: As my spouse for the last 25 years, he is intimately aware of many dealings in regards to my relationship between my faith and my profession.

April 13, 2021 Kattie Mount, Jana Spangler, and Jody England: All are witnesses to my professional work in regards to serving LDS communities.

April 14, 2021 Jen Johnson: Believing member in a stake presidency who attended the “Marriage on a Tightrope” class and does not agree with all of my clinical positions.

April 14, 2021 Jennifer White: She helped me found the MMHA and also worked with me professionally for several years in my practice. I’m currently her supervisor for AASECT sex therapy accreditation and has a calling in her ward.

April 15, 2021 Paul Shipp: He will be representing as a member in good standing who is in a mixed orientation marriage and also with expertise in social justice advocacy. *Because the summons letter stated “legal counsel may not be present,” I also included “He is an attorney by trade. But he will not be representing me legally. Nor representing his firm in any way.”

I was informed yesterday that you would be limiting the witnesses to the first 6. I have informed those individuals of their approval to participate and shared the form they will need to sign before doing so.

I want to note that I started asking for support and speaking directly to potential witnesses as to their willingness and availability on April 11, 2021. This is because I spent April 5-10, 2021 contacting as many people as I could to see if this council could be avoided. This includes contacting and speaking with an emeritus general authority, who I will not disclose due to promised confidentiality. I was concerned about public backlash, potential embarrassment for the Church and the pain and division such public events cause our membership. Every membership council of high profile that I know of has led to members resigning from the Church, which pains me greatly. I wrote a letter to Elder Brian Rawson, North America Central Tenth Quorum Area Authority, outlining several concerns as to:

why the council could not be postponed,

why concerns over positions that I have held for many years were needing to be addressed now and in a stake I no longer reside in,

why concerns could not be addressed in my local stake,

several conflicts of interest I feel I have in my relationship with you personally, and

why I was being subjected to the undue stress of travel, not having local resources and witnesses available to me, not to mention being close to my social network that could offer me support.

An almost identical letter was also co-jointly sent to M. Scott Newbold, President of the Wilford Stake (where I now reside) and Jon Smith, Bishop of the Wilford Ward. In this letter I stated, “I would like the opportunity to speak to my local leaders about these matters or concerns. If a membership council is still needed after doing so, I would be more than happy to participate and decide how to continue forward from there.” I received the following response from President Newbold: “I wanted to let you know that we have counseled together and counseled with President Daley and feel it is best for him to handle the council in Derby, Kansas as scheduled.”

I would like to accept the offer to invite the Bel Aire ward Relief Society president to be present and provide support. Although I do not believe I know her personally, I am encouraged by the many efforts the Church has made to include its women in administrative responsibilities. I would like to honor those efforts by extending an invitation. Please let her know on my behalf.

I would also like to request that all members of the high council attend this meeting. Section 32.9.2 of the General Handbook states “Members of the high council do not normally participate in stake membership councils. However, the high council may participate in difficult situations. For example, the stake presidency may invite the high council to participate when: (bulleted point #3) the member requests their participation.” Please let them know on my behalf.

I would like to request that I be informed, as soon as possible, of who will be present in this membership council, as well as their current callings in the Derby, Stake.

I am also requesting in writing, before the council takes place, what specific steps or actions are being required for me to be able to retain my membership. I have been through the Church’s formal repentance process on several occasions, and have always known what the expectations were for repair and returning to full fellowship status. I am concerned that this is not the case on this occasion. I cannot consent to reparation requirements if I am not informed as to what they are. I need time to prayerfully consider what will be asked of me.

I understand that these meetings are respectful in nature and that participants are expected to agree to the Church’s procedures and confidentiality. Part of this agreement includes “no participant is permitted to make an audio, video or written recording” because the Church considers membership councils to be sacred and confidential. I will agree to these conditions on my end. However, I forego any confidentiality agreement on yours. You are free to make an audio, video or written recording of the proceedings as a record of this meeting. I believe it will be an important record for the field of Mormon Studies and Mormon History. Although things may be sacred, I do not see that as always equating to them being secret. A principle of good community health is transparency, and I am willing to speak to any of your concerns publicly.

I agree that 2020 has been a very difficult year for many. I also agree that trials, albeit painful and challenging, are also opportunities for growth, learning and building resilience. I agree that gospel principles and the teachings of Jesus Christ offer many blessings that soothe my soul. His gospel teachings, which speak to:

the need for continuing revelation,

the privilege of personal revelation, and

the awesome responsibility of continued education (The glory of God is intelligence. Doctrine and Covenants 93:36)

bring comfort to my soul at this time of tension between members, as we all strive in diverse ways towards the global and diverse building of Zion.

I want you to know that this has been a season of great personal anguish and contemplation. I spent last Sunday, using the Sabbath principles to focus on prayer, meditation and attending to the promptings of the Spirit. I intentionally quieted my mind and asked my Heavenly Parents for wisdom and guidance: to be able to take care of my own needs, while simultaneously being aware of the needs of our Mormon community. For me this includes members of the Church (regardless of “standing” status) and the many others who may no longer commune with us in membership, but share our Mormon lived experience & heritage. I also asked for a priesthood blessing from my dear brother in the Gospel, Mike Hansen. And sat in a circle of prayer with my dear sisters in Zion, Jody England, Jana Spangler, Carie Fox, Sara Hughes-Zabawa and Lisa Butterworth. These heavenly pleadings and rituals, that I honor and value, have provided me with much peace and comfort. I have felt the Balm of Gilead. I can share my testimony that I have sincerely felt my God’s power, enlightenment (flow) and comfort.

I will be submitting several other documents that will address the concerns mentioned in your letter dated November 8th, 2020, as well as some of my own concerns. I know I will not have the sufficient time to do so this coming Sunday. I would like to use the time I do have, to discuss whether or not we can go forward in a mutually respectful way: where my professional ethics and best-care practices that my license depends on, can coexist with my personal faith and devotion.

I offer you the same blessing you offered me: may your family continue to be safe and well. May you be blessed and inspired as you have many difficult considerations weighing on your shoulders.

With love,

Sister Helfer

Natasha Helfer, LCMFT, CST, CST-S

From The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

April 21st, 2021

DERBY KANSAS STAKE 1409 S Rock Road Derby, KS 67037

Dear Sister Natasha Carolina Helfer Parker,

As you know, a membership council was held in your behalf on Sunday, April 18th, 2021 at 1409 South Rock Road, Derby, Kansas. I am sad you chose to not comply with our requests to preserve the confidential nature of the council. We moved the date to one you requested, so that you might personally attend. However, your unwillingness to turn off your phone to preserve the sacred nature of this gathering, even when offered the option to print any documents that might be on your phone prior to the council commencing, led to us proceeding with the council with you not present.

We received the written statements from those who were not present in the room. During the council, each word was read aloud and considered. I also received many emails and letters, and they were also considered. After carefully and prayerfully considering this matter, it was the decision of the council to withdraw your Church membership in response to conduct contrary to the law and order of the Church. An explanation of the effects of this decision is enclosed with this letter.

Natasha, many of the letters I received were supportive of your professional services and expressed gratitude for the help you have given, which I appreciate. However, this council had nothing to do with your practice as a therapist. Your professional activities played no part in the decision of the council. Rather, as stated in my prior letter to you, the sole purpose of this council was to consider your repeated, clear, and public opposition to and condemnation of the Church, its doctrine, its policies, and its leaders.

Church members have a wide variety of opinions on any number of topics, including on matters of doctrine and belief. This diversity of opinions is generally a blessing to the Church, where members benefit from the opinions of others in meetings, classes and in counseling and ministering to one another. However, you cannot be a member in good standing when you have demonstrated a pattern of clear and deliberate opposition to the Church, its doctrine, its policies, and its leaders. This is the reason this council was convened.

You may appeal the decision of this council by writing a letter to the First Presidency within 30 days of the date of the council. Your letter should specify the alleged errors or unfairness in the procedure or decision. You may give or send your letter to me (stevemdaley@gmail.com) to submit to the First Presidency.

In a letter I received via email the day before the council, you asked to know what was expected of you "for repair and returning to full fellowship." In response to your request, the following guidance gives you four things that will help you prepare, so that hopefully, after at least one year, another council might meet with you to begin the process of readmitting you to the Church.

1. Cease to use disparaging and vulgar language to describe the Church and its leaders. There is

plenty of room in the Church for a diversity of thought on many issues while still being civil and kind.

2. Begin to attend Church meetings regularly. Everyone who desires to worship the Lord and

respectfully join with others in doing so is welcome. You will be welcome in our Sunday meetings as you come together with others who seek to love the Lord and to live His commandments.

3. Earnestly study the scriptures,

4. Meet regularly with your bishop. Seek to understand and follow His counsel.

As you do these things your ability to recognize spiritual truth will grow. The spirit that testifies to each of us that Jesus is the Christ, is the same spirit that testifies that Joseph Smith is the prophet of the restoration and that Russell M. Nelson is the Lord's prophet today. This is the Lord's Church, and He directs it today through His living prophet.

Natasha, I invite you to consider this opportunity to begin again. Please consider the psalmist's plea to "trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine understanding.” Jesus Christ is the Great Physician, He can forgive sin, heal our wounds and extend His Grace to help us be a little better today than we were yesterday. I pray the Lord will smile on your efforts.

Respectfully,

Stephen M. Daley Derby Kansas Stake President

_________________________

What does it mean to have your membership withdrawn for a time?

Church membership restrictions are ecclesiastical, not civil or criminal. They affect only a person's standing in the Church. Withdrawing a person's membership is not intended to punish. Rather, these actions are sometimes necessary to help a person repent and experience a change of heart. They also give a person time to prepare spiritually to renew and keep his or her covenants again.

Withdrawing your membership means you may not enjoy any privileges of Church membership. You may not enter a temple or wear the temple garment. You may not partake of the sacrament or participate in the sustaining of Church officers. You may not give a talk, lesson, or prayer in Church settings or lead an activity in church. Nor may you serve in a Church calling. You may not pay tithes and offerings.

You are encouraged to attend Church meetings and activities if your conduct is orderly. Those whose Church membership has been withdrawn can be considered for readmission by baptism and confirmation. You will need to show genuine repentance for at least one year. The stake president holds another membership council to consider readmission.